Inspired by a blog that inspires me daily, or whenever I remember to look at it: http://smartprettyandawkward.com.
However you would like to measure 'smart':
Believe it or not, my senior year is probably the easiest year of my high school career and I would have to say my frosh year was one of my hardest. That being said I feel like starting something new really messes with you for a lack of a more eloquent way to express myself - it sucks. For example, I had a week long internship, also know as a Senior Exit Project to those that are in my school district, that left me so physically and mentally tired. I would come home from selling musical instruments (why yes, my SEP was music retail...) and fall face down onto my bed. It wasn't even a hard job! I stood around and convinced people I knew all about string instruments and yes, that tape is necessary for playing the drums (it isn't). Being constantly alert really got my heart rate up and kept me on my toes.
On that note, I kind of enjoy that really intense feeling of trying hard.
It only lasts a short while before it starts to fade away. In Fusion, a drumline I am in, I feel myself trying a little bit less which is a shame. I am starting to become complacent but before I always felt like I needed to be constantly practicing. Now, I'm starting to plateau which is really scary because I am still not close to perfect. I only say this because I finally found some motivation to get off my bum and start working on music and other aspects of my life a little bit more now. This is good.
If I could just keep inspiration alive for more that a little bit I might actually have a way more productive life.
Which is why I find it nice to say I've been able to go to bed at a decent hour these days which is really exciting for both me and my health. I figure if I am not in the homework mood I am just not going to get anything done so I need to either a. go to sleep or b. get in the homework mood. Going to sleep of course means waking up early and actually making good on my promise to wake up early which is much harder than it seems. So far, so good. Of course I do have incentive lately. If my grades slip, I loose privileges such as getting to be on Fusion for example or hanging out with friends. Also, bad grades means more stress when it comes to finals time.
When it comes to being smart, it is much more than a test score but instead, I think smart is really a life decision. You can be the smartest person in the world with the worst grades as everyone knows, and I think that's pretty stupid. Of course, it's pretty stupid doing something you don't like so what is smart? Doing something that makes you happy! In my case, I enjoy being organized and productive so I can achieve things outside of the classroom such as half marathons and vibraphone skills.
Why I don't wear makeup:
Honestly, I have gotten totally lazy about the way I look. I think that is also a contribution to me being stressed but honestly, I am not doing too bad, in my opinion. Usually, if I know I am going to have a stressful day I dress really really pretty. I wear a favorite skirt and a fluffy shirt and wear my 'date night' perfume - the whole nine yards. I figure that way, I at least don't have to worry about my appearance and thus have a little confidence.
But two weeks ago my acne prescription ran out and my skin isn't that bad. It's not perfect and maybe by next week I will look horrible but I think perhaps I would like to try over the counter brands instead of prescription and see what happens - save some money. Also, I've been wearing less makeup which is good news for my skin I'm sure. It isn't like I used lots of makeup before. I only used a bronzer and this thing called a cover stick (??) so I would look less tired. I'm getting more sleep so that seemed unnecessary. We shall see. The makeup brand I use went bankrupt so now I feel like I have the whole market opened up to me but when I opened this book about teenage beauty I saw the 'essentials' page.
It made me really sad!
It had perhaps 20 items that were needed for daily wear. Perhaps that is the norm but... I really hope not. Most of my friends need half of what they wear, if any, and the other half refuses to let me see them without makeup so I couldn't tell you truthfully.
I could go on a large rant about how horrible media and the makeup industry is, but I won't especially since I kind of like putting on the limited makeup I use and find the packaging really fun to have in my bathroom.
I just think people should cut down - it's better for your skin anyway.
Also, experiment! Which is what I hope to start doing. You don't want to be wearing exactly what you wore freshmen year of high school to your last day of your senior year in college because people and bodies change and a little refreshing change is nice to keep you perky. That is my opinion at least and obviously I am not a beauty expert.
Perhaps, I'll keep you updated on this one.
It also is good to note that I am soon to become financially independent and must adjust to this by cutting back or simply switching and honestly I hate visiting the doctor for more acne medication. It's a pain.
We all would really like to not feel awkward:
So, back when MySpace was cool... it was really fun decorating my profile with fancy images and glittering whatevers. One of my favorite ways to bling up my page was with icons/avatars. These little 100 x 100 photos could really tell my life story! One that was fairly popular to post within my group of friends from school said: I'm the type of girl that laughs at things that happened yesterday.
I never posted this because everyone else posted it. I couldn't be like everyone else, obviously. So, I just secretly agreed with it and felt proud to be cute in the way that this icon was cute. I also had this vague turmoil brewing at the back of my mind - none of these girls laughed at in the middle of silence. In fact, they often told me how uncomfortable silence was to them. At the time, I had never experienced an awkward silence before.
The moral of my story is - it's really cool these days to be nerdy or awkward as one would say such as laughing randomly about something you are thinking about or wearing glasses and being shy but when it comes down to it - it's only romanticized.
It really confuses me.
But back to the whole awkward silence thing.
I think I've only had an awkward silence feel awkward once. A lot of people suddenly burst out, "THIS IS SO AWKWARD!" Well, it wasn't until you said something. Most silences are quite comfortable to me and if they aren't - it's best to say nothing because they are what they are. If you don't make it awkward then it isn't awkward. Situations are only labeled as such because the general consensus was that it was awkward - well what if the general consensus was that it was peaceful or nice or content or happy? Keep that in mind. I try to.
Also, anyone who has known me for more than a month knows I occasionally break out into random laughter. I like to use this opportunity to make the people around me laugh as well because I like stories and if I can bring them to the moment I just thought of, I have just won points on my meter of socializing. It's a way to practice writing and blogging verbally. Maybe, I'm just that nerdy.
I want to be 'the hilarious one' but I most certainly wouldn't mind being known as the 'smart, pretty, and only a little awkward one'.
You know what's awkward? The music video for Firework by Katy Perry. There are sparks coming out of what?!?!!
Look, I just made this really uncomfortable.
